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April 2009

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Apr. 14th, 2009

Yeah, I'm still around

A whole lot has happened since I posted on here the last time.  I passed my paramedic test, just waiting to get state certified now.  I got kicked out of Nursing school because I didn't pass the lecture portion of a Chemistry class.  I did get an A in Nursing though.  Right now I'm working on campus in an office and taking some kinda random classes.  I've found a new interest in Homeland Security and considering a double major while I'm getting my Nursing degree.  Sounds crazy, I know. 

I've been pretty much the same mentally, just the usual ups and downs.  I am starting to have really strong urges to drink and chew.  I haven't drank since this summer, and I quit chewing when school started last semester.  Seems like when I get stressed out the urges get stronger.  I haven't given in though.  Not yet anyway.

I don't really know what else to put on here.  There's a lot of things going on in my head, but I can't get them to come out into words.  Frustrating.  I'm not really feeling too good tonight.  Really, really down.  Thought maybe getting on here would help, but like I said, I can't get the words to come out.  Maybe I'll try again later.

Aug. 17th, 2008

First Day of School

 It's been a REALLY long weekend.  And pretty unproductive.  Friday I had orientation for Nursing school and everthing was going pretty good and people were being nice to me because they thought I was one of the 5 guys in the entire Freshman class.  Then I got to check-in and the lady at the desk knows my entire family and calls me by name.  Then, I get this little name tag to wear that has my legal name on it.  I decided to stick it on my shorts instead of on my shirt where everyone could see it right off.  I heard someone ask a girl that I grew up with if she knew me and she totally blew it for me and told them who I was (legally).  Pretty much from then on I just got stared at and lots of snickers.  I would really like to just go to the faculty and tell them that I go by Brody, but 4 of them know my entire family, plus my mom works at the University, and I'm not out to any of my family.  I've thought about telling them that I go by my last name or something, cuz it can be a first name too.  I'm just really not looking forward to going through it all over again tomorrow at 0800 sharp.  I've noticed too that I'm a totally different person when I can be myself and not have to "be a girl".  I'm a lot more confident and outgoing.  I just can't bring myself to tell my parents because I just really think they wouldn't handle it well.  At all.

I don't know.  I need to get some sleep but I'm wound up like a squirrel on crack.  I started thinking about this test that I have to have done Friday.  I thought it was going to be OK cuz they are giving me Valium for it, but then this person on here told me that it hurts and you bleed afterwards.  I don't handle that well.  And if you don't take it easy it starts all over again.  Well, I have firefighter school 2 days after it.  I'm back to not wanting to have the test done again.  Not like I would miss those parts if they rotted and fell out. Lol